Hit with a Brick

I am sure you have heard, and even experienced, that when God is trying to tell us something, he first taps us on the shoulder. Lightly. We might not notice, unless we are really paying attention. In my case, it often takes a few taps, and then a shove, and then maybe the proverbial brick. Oh, you wanted me to LISTEN? And LEARN something? Got it.

One of my favorite yoga teachers (and as I said in a previous blog they are ALL my favorites, so no names!) has been talking for weeks about one of Patanjali’s yoga sutras, Sutra 1.13. This sutra says, “Undisturbed calmness of mind is attained by cultivating friendliness toward the happy, compassion for the unhappy, delight in the virtuous, and indifference toward the wicked.” Swami Satchidananda referred to these as the “four locks and four keys.” The locks are our daily challenges, and the keys are applied to help the mind retain the undisturbed calmness, which is the ultimate goal of our yoga practice. Each key certainly merits its own discussion, but it is the “indifference toward the wicked” that has really stuck with me the past few weeks. What does that mean? And how can that even be right? What about fighting back? Defending your position? Tap.

Wicked is defined as: evil by nature and in practice, severe and distressing, or highly offensive; obnoxious. Why would we want to be indifferent to that? Shouldn’t that kind of behavior be dealt with and punished? At the very least, noticed? Why would Patanjali want us to treat that type of behavior with indifference?

For several weeks we talked about that in class. Tap. The topic showed up a month or so ago in a yoga magazine I was reading. Tap. And then in a yoga book on my nightstand. Tap. And then I read it in my Bible, too. Yep. Jesus said, in Matthew, “offer the wicked man no resistance.” No resistance, really? I was starting to think, why does this keep coming up for me? Am I missing something? Shove.

I have this new, unpleasant relationship with someone that I desperately need something from, and he keeps saying no. Without explanation or discussion, or even options, just no. Denied. I am so frustrated I can’t stand it. The “yes” would take none of his time, energy, or resources. It is just a “yes” and a signature. I was sharing the latest in the saga of denial with the aforementioned yoga teacher, and there she goes again with the “indifference to the wicked” bit. Stop already! I don’t WANT to show indifference! I want to slash his tires! To which she says, “But that won’t change him.” There’s the brick.

So as I rub my wounded head, I get it. Finally. It is not that the wickedness is OK. It is not OK, and we may truly be harmed by the wicked words or deeds of others. Indifference doesn’t mean condoning the behavior, or letting someone mow over you. And there still can and should be consequences in response to the wickedness of others. But the indifference should be in our emotional response to the wickedness. Because while the name calling or tire slashing or however we revengefully respond will NOT change them, it DOES change us. And not in a good way. The anger, fear, and resentment set up camp in our body and minds and change our very nature. Why let someone else do that to you? Why do that to yourself?

Let’s back all the way up to Patanjali’s Sutra 1.3: when we practice yoga, “Then the Self abides in its own nature.” This means that our true identity, the very nature of who we are, doesn’t come and go, like an unexpected visitor. When we abide in our true nature, it takes up permanent residence in our lives. The point here is that with a perfectly still and clear mind, we experience ourselves as the blissful beings that we surely are! This sounds complicated, but deep down, I think we all understand this. To again quote Jesus, he said, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” (Matthew 5:8). This is the same principle. When our hearts are pure, and we are in our true blissful nature, we can see God.

OK, so what does that have to do with the wicked? A lot, really. Our hearts cannot possibly be pure when they are full of anger, right? The anger destroys our peace of mind. Worse, every act of anger makes it more likely that we will continue to respond in anger. It is like creating a habit, and not a good one. Repeated habits form our character, and begin to define who we are. So at its worst, the anger or vengeful act will always hurt us more than the perpetrator. Certainly we don’t aspire for our true nature to be angry and bitter!

So what lesson did I learn here from the brick? It is this. We don’t need and shouldn’t use anger to motivate us to do what is right, even in the face of an evil act from another. We need to act from higher motives, such as compassion, a desire for harmony, and a clear knowledge of what is right. When our minds are clear and our hearts are pure, we can more effectively come up with creative solutions. When our minds and hearts are clear, we can abide in our true nature, and our true nature is bliss, not anger.

So how do we get there? We have to find the path that resonates best with us. Maybe we get to that blissful, clear headed state on our yoga mat, in our mediation, or in prayer. Maybe we sing, or enjoy a cup of tea for a few quiet moments each day. Ultimately, we need to understand that words spoken or actions taken in anger towards another only serve to change our very nature, and not their behavior. Indifference towards the wicked is one of the keys to calming the mind, and abiding in our true nature.

And by the way, when I dug down deep for a touch of indifference, with a bit of compassion, and a smile, I got to the elusive “yes.” Maybe I learned something.