“As you think, so shall you be.”~ Jesus Christ, Proverbs 23:7

“Vitarka Badhane Pratipaksha Bhavanam – When thinking bad thoughts, think of something else.” ~ Yoga Sutra 2:33

Did you know that we have anywhere from 12,000 to 50,000 thoughts a day, every day? At a minimum, that is a thought every 14 seconds! Wow! It is believed that the average person has the capability of up to 60, 000 thoughts in a day, partially fuelled by the constant and immediate access we have to seemingly new information, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. With that kind of thought power, it seems like we would be a culture of high achieving, successful, efficient problem solvers, right? But we are not, and worse, we are increasingly stressed, depressed, and angry. Why?

Studies have shown that 95% to 98% of the thoughts that we have each day are the EXACT SAME thoughts we had the day before; nothing new. To make matters worse, 70% to 80% of the thoughts that we have each day are negative at best, and at worst, are NOT EVEN TRUE. That means that most of us spend our days buried in false ideas, beliefs and judgments that are simply a repetitive swirling of the false ideas, beliefs and judgments from the day before. Day after day. Week after week. Month after month. No wonder we are tired and depressed.

This means that only a very few of the thoughts that we have each day have anything to do with the only thing that is true and real; the present moment. That over-analyzing, critical thinking, multi-tasking, judgmental mind that we are so proud of is actually the source of our greatest unhappiness, and compounds our deepest fears. And we know that as our thoughts go, so go our emotions, and so go our behaviors.

Here is an analogy. Think of your mind like your I-pod, with a 60,000 thought library. From day to day, the library doesn’t change much. You might add a few new songs every so often, but how often do you delete? You probably have a few playlists that are your favorites, too. Same with our thoughts. We repeat the same playlist of thoughts every day out of habit, comfort, compulsiveness, etc.

So if our library of thoughts is so full, why is it so full of negative thoughts and thoughts that are not only harmful, but not even true? Why were those even added to the playlist in the first place? Here is why, using the I-pod analogy again. Have you ever used the Genius function in I-Tunes? For a music lover, Genius is genius, really. It looks at all the songs in your library and recommends other songs that you might like based on what you already have. Our thought library is like that, too. Thoughts that match up well with our existing fears, phobias and insecurities get added to the playlist, and join in the endless loop. They play over and over in the background of our day, barely noticeable after a while, but deep down are causing profound changes in our behavior. The endless loop of negative and false thoughts over time affect how we make decisions, what risks we take, and most importantly, how we relate to others.

The fear playlist keeps you from trying new things. The self-image playlist causes you to cringe when you try on a new swimsuit or pull on your favorite jeans. The insecurity playlist keeps you from opening up to loved ones.

So what does this have to do with yoga, and how can our yoga practice help us overcome the negative thought patterns?

Yoga Sutra 2:33, sums it up. When you think negative thoughts, stop and think of something else. Seems easy enough, right? As we study this sutra, we are reminded that the ultimate purpose of yoga is to stop the chattering in our minds, good or bad. And we can use these negative thoughts as a tool in our arsenal to stop the noise. When negative thoughts come up, notice them, and witness what is happening. What cause them to escalate?

Once you notice the negative thoughts rising up, stop and take a look a closer look. Is it even true? And if it really is true, see if you can at least rephrase it into a more positive light, so that you don’t once again tumble down the rabbit hole of despair and desperation about what is wrong with you, others, your work, your home, etc.? Once we learn how to do this effectively, the bad thoughts lose their strangle hold on us and our ability to destroy our peace. At some point, maybe you can even catch these thoughts as they arise, laugh at them trying to invade your happiness, and push them away.

I have been working on this myself, under the guidance of a wise mentor. It is not easy, and sometimes quite painful. But as I become more and more skilled at noticing the negative thoughts, I am getting better at stopping them in their tracks and not letting them run amuck in my head.

When you think negative thoughts, stop and think of something else.
And why? The very next sutra tells us why. Sutra 2:34 says, “When negative thoughts or acts such as violence are done, caused to be done or even approved of, whether incited by greed, anger or infatuation, whether indulged in with mild, medium, or extreme intensity, they are based on ignorance and bring certain pain. (Emphasis mine.)

Negative thoughts = certain pain. Yeah, I’ll pass. That is worth working on.

You know by now that yoga is so much more than strong arms, long hamstrings, and bendy hips. Our yoga and meditation practice give us the tools that we need to need to stop the chatter in our heads, good and bad. And time and time again, the yoga sutras give us tools to handle ourselves mentally and emotionally. It is funny that today we wait with baited breath for Dr. Oz or Oprah or a quip from a friend on Facebook to tell us how to act, or what magic pill to take to improve our lives. Sure, these things may work, too. But I find it is comforting to know that for thousands of years people have struggled with the same things, and along the way have learned self-mastery; I don’t have to single-handedly reinvent the wheel. I just need to remind myself of the teachings, and get back on my mat, leaving the negative thoughts at the door. Try it, I promise you will like it!

Do not put yoga on this list!

As a dedicated yoga enthusiast, practitioner, teacher and studio owner, I quite often have the opportunity to talk with people about the benefits of yoga.  What I have found is that these days, every body knows somebody who does yoga, and they know that they should, too.  BUT….and the excuses begin.  I don’t have time, I am not flexible, I am too big, etc.  Really, anyone can do yoga, and yes, everyone should.  But, if you find yourself in need of a few more excuses, I have compiled some here for you to ponder.  See what works for you.  And just in case any of you are taking this too seriously, please know that humor is a huge part of my life, and my yoga!

Now, yoga and its benefits have been around for hundreds, if not thousands of years, and so have the excuses.  I am not going to claim to have dreamed these up myself.  Several months ago, a New York yoga teacher came up with her own list of reasons to stay off of your mat!  So, ponder these, and pick one next time you feel like staying on the couch and off your mat. So here they are, in no particular order:

The bartender might ask for your ID when you order a drink.

A regular yoga practice can help you look (and feel!) younger by slowing the aging process, and in some cases even reversing it. Yoga revitalizes the mind and rejuvenates the body. You may find that you feel younger and stronger than you have in years.  You are only as young as your spine is flexible!

You are so used to that backache; it is like an old friend.

At some point in our lives almost 80% of us will suffer with some form of back pain, because of the way we live (and sit).  Generally, back pain is caused by an imbalance in the flexibility and the strength of the muscles of the back, hips and shoulders. A regular yoga practice can release the tension in the back, and strengthen the muscles in the hips and the core, eliminating much of the pain. 

Sleep is overrated. 

Yoga can help you sleep at night, especially if you suffer from stress related insomnia.  Yoga relaxes the muscles, the nervous system, and the mind, helping you to sleep better at night.  But hey, some of us love that feeling of lying awake at 4:00 AM, knowing there is a full day of work coming soon, with no sleep! 

You’ve earned those toxins in your body and want to keep them!

Just like other forms of exercise, you can work up a sweat, relax, and maybe take your mind off the stresses of the day.  Yoga doesn’t corner the market on that.  And in the right class, you can even get a pretty decent calorie burn. But the way we live (and eat) fills our system with toxins, free radicals, and all kinds of other icky stuff that builds up over time.  And there are all kinds of over the counter detox tools out there these days!  But the best way to really clean and detoxify your body is to let it do the work itself, by supporting your lymphatic system with good for you food, lots of water, and yoga.  Especially upside down poses.  Headstands aren’t just for Kindergarteners!

You are afraid of what you might accomplish with some focus.

Just imagine how successful you could be if you could stay focused on the task at hand, without the constant mental distractions of the grocery list, the phone calls, the endless mental chatter.  Yoga won’t cure you of this, but through simple breathing and meditation techniques, you can enhance your ability to focus and concentrate. 

Your game is fine….no improvement needed. 

It is great to have a passion for a sport or other physical activity, whether it is running, cycling, golf, swimming….you name it.  But when we train our bodies a certain way, over and over again, over time we create imbalances in the strength and flexibility that we use (or don’t use) in that activity.  Yoga is a great way to bring the body back into alignment and balance.  And by bringing greater awareness to the breath through yoga, you can experience greater stamina, as well as focus in you game, whatever it is.

You prefer to get your energy from a candy bar or a soda.

Don’t you love that quick burst of energy you get from a Snickers bar and a Diet Coke?  How about the subsequent crash?  Do you love that, too?  We have become dependent on getting our energy from outside of us, while we need to learn to cultivate and balance the energy WITHIN us.  A yoga practice can help you do this.  Yoga doesn’t create energy, but helps us to cultivate and use more efficiently the energy we already have.

You might have to buy new clothes.

Yoga strengthens, lengthens and tones your muscles, and those longer leaner muscles take up less space in your jeans.  And the previously mentioned energy boost increases your metabolism, so when you do splurge on the Snickers bar or the Latte, it is less likely to linger on your hips. 

You like visiting your doctor, and hospitals aren’t so bad, either.

Modern medicine is showing more and more the many health benefits of this ancient practice.  From decreased blood pressure, better circulation, to better cardiovascular endurance, yoga everyday really can help to keep the doctor away.  A regular yoga practice can also result in a stronger immune system, helping to keep you healthy. 

The last cult you joined no longer wanted you as a member.

It is a misconception that yoga is a religion, or a cult.  While yoga was designed as a holistic system to bring balance and harmony to the mind, body and spirit, many people come to yoga strictly for the physical benefits, or to relieve aches and pains.  Others use the quiet time at the end of their practice to meditate or pray. While yoga did originate in India and has components that stem from Hinduism, there is no requirement that you chant, become Hindu or Buddhist, or ever understand a word of Sanskrit.  Most practitioners do find that a dedicated practice helps them enhance their spirituality by allowing the time and the mental space to connect to their higher power, through mediation or prayer.

Multi-tasking - how's that working for you?

“If it feels good, you are doing it right.  If it hurts, you are doing it wrong.” – Ricky Tran

Seriously?  Is it really as simple as that?

Actually, yes, it is that simple.  Several Yoga Westies and yogis from around the city spent the better part of 3 days with Ricky Tran recently.  Ricky Tran began his transformation through yoga in 2005, so yes; he has been doing yoga for less time than I have been teaching yoga.  And I feel quite safe saying that there were only a handful of people in the room who were younger than Ricky.  But Ricky is the real deal.  He totally gets it.  He gets it better than most of us, who have been doing yoga twice as long, or longer.  He offered 8 separate sessions, ranging from lectures on the sutras to kick-your-butt asana classes.  But regardless of the topic we were exploring, or the ridiculousness of the asana we were attempting, the message was the same:  “If it feels good, you are doing it right.  If it hurts, you are doing it wrong.”  Think about that next time you are trying to stand on your head or twist yourself into a pretzel or balance on one hand!

Patanjali’s yoga sutra 2.46 says, “stira sukha asanam.”  Practice poses with steadiness and ease.  Stira is the steadiness, focus, concentration and an attentive mind.  Sukha is happiness, comfort and ease.  Patanjali was referring here specifically to seated poses for learning or meditating, but the objective is the same for all of our poses.  We want to strive for the balance, that “happy place” between effort and ease.  Steady your mind, your body and your breath, and then allow the pose to unfold and reveal itself to you.  Have you had this experience in a pose?  When you can allow your mind to clear of the chatter and distractions, and can move, without judgments or expectations into a pose, whatever it looks like for you, and it FEELS right, you experience a moment or two, maybe even several breaths, of complete ease in the pose.  That AHA moment.  The body is strong, but soft, the mind is clear, and the breath is full and complete. You are doing it right! 

Part of the beauty of our yoga practice is that we can take the lessons that we learn on our mat into our daily lives as well.  Frankly, that is where the real transformation is in the practice.  Stira sukha.  Steadiness and ease.  Do you have a sense of steadiness and ease in your life right now? 

It has been said that May is the new December.  That is absolutely the case in my life right now!  This is time of year when I totally feel like I am on the crazy train…it has barreled out of the station and is heading right off the tracks.  Late April and May are busier than Christmas, with the intersection of end of year school activities, beginning of summer activities, etc.  I don’t know from one minute to the next whether I am coming or going.  And who is supposed to be where?  And do they have to eat first?  Know what I am talking about?  Sure, you do.  Maybe, if we applied the principle of stira sukha to the rest of our lives, in addition to our poses, we could at least put that crazy train back on the tracks, even if we can’t get it to stop. 

What is the task at hand?  A business deal?  A baseball game?  Getting dinner on the table?  Carpooling 3 people to 3 different places all at the same time?  Set your awareness, and be steady about your focus.  Stira.  Then move with clarity to completion of the task, without allowing your self to become distracted, or participate in a bunch of judgments about what you should be doing instead.  Sukha.  There, that feels better, doesn’t it?  If it feels right, you are doing it right.

Research has shown that while we think we are accomplishing a long list of tasks, our brains actually are not capable of multi-tasking.  We cannot think about or put our awareness on more than one thing at a time.  So when we are running around trying to furiously check items off of our to do list, our brains are actually moving from one thing to another, then another, then another.  This makes us tired, and stressed, and frankly unproductive.  If we would focus on one task at a time, follow it to completion, and then movie on to the next, we probably would get a lot more done.  And we would feel so much better.  This is where the stira and sukha come in, right?  Steadiness and ease.  One thing at a time.  That just feels right, doesn’t it?

What Not to Wear

Have you watched that TV reality show, What Not to Wear?  Stacy and Clinton transform someone from blah to beautiful with a few simple but powerful beauty and clothing tips.  The fascinating part, though, as you watch the show, you discover that the real transformation is not in the new outfits or the spruced up makeup and new hairdo, but it is in the confidence the participant gains when they are forced to acknowledge, live with and love the skin that they are in.  They are encouraged, forcefully perhaps, to dig deep and find out who they really are.  Then they discover that there was a beautiful person in there all along!

Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu

May all beings everywhere, be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words and actions of my own life, contribute in some way, to that happiness and to that freedom for all. 

This is a Sanskrit mantra that we often recite as part of our yoga practice, to bring awareness to suffering around us, and to remind us to look outside of ourselves.  We hear this mantra and we often think first of saving the whales, or rehabitating the polar bears, or finding homes for abandoned puppies.  But it says all beings everywhere.  That means us, too.  You and Me.  Happy and free.

I am in class the other day with one of Yoga West’s amazing teachers (they are all great, aren’t they?), who is trained in and practices primarily Anusara yoga.  Anusara yoga is a beautiful, freeing practice.  She invited us throughout the class to only do poses that were “life affirming,” and where we could be “happy and free.”  I totally get that.   I couldn’t do half of the crazy poses she was doing, and I was quite content with it.  I didn’t judge myself for not being like her, or for not being able to do the poses quite as beautifully.  I will never get to some of those asanas; I found it quite life affirming to just sit on my mat and watch.  I was happy and free!

Fast forward a couple of hours, and I find myself in a dressing room with a stack of blue jeans to try on.  Now, trying on jeans is right up there with trying on swim suits, right?  And it gets less and less fun as the years go by.  And once again, the jeans that I have picked to try on are the same size that I wore 18 years and two babies ago.  I ALWAYS walk into the dressing room with a stack of too small jeans in my hands.  The smart part of my brain knows that they are not going to fit, but the heart part of my brain hopes that maybe, this time, my thighs will slide right in.  And once again, they don’t fit.  Discontent.  Not feeling happy and free.

Why do I do this?  Maybe you do it, too.  Why can’t I give myself the freedom to be happy in my own skin?  To be happy and free?  It is not just about the jeans.  We often go through our lives with some level of discontent about who we are, how we look, how much money we have….whatever your own bag of discontent holds.  And that discontent holds us back from true happiness and freedom.  We can’t change who we are or how we look or what we have in this very moment, so why not give ourselves permission to just be happy where we are today?

The Sanskrit word for contentment is Santosha.  Santosha is one of the Niyamas discussed in Patajali’s Yoga Sutras.  The practice of Santosha is about cultivating peace and contentment within yourself.  It is important to note that contentment is not the same thing as happiness.  One key to living in Santosha is to neither long for the past nor worry about the future. It is about bringing awareness to your responsibility for being where you are right now, and accepting it.  You can more forward from there.

In response, I often walk away from the jeans, angry that once again I don’t fit into THAT size.  The irony is that I don’t even WANT to be the person that I was 18 years and two babies ago!  That person didn’t have the safe home, supportive marriage, beautiful children, and the freedom to volunteer to her hearts content AND run a yoga business, that I have now.  So why do I care if her jeans were a size smaller? 

Back to the yoga class.  It seems that while I was content to NOT be someone else, I perhaps wasn’t completely content with who I was, really.  It is easy to not want to be someone else.  Much harder to want to be the person that you are, right? 

I am not suggesting that we should all be perfectly content with our ailments and bad habits and our big bag of discontent.  We all have things that we can work on to improve our quality of life and how we feel moving though it.  But if we start from a place of contentment about who we really are right now, then we have a much better chance of being happy and free.  And from there, we can then bring happiness to ourselves and others.  And to the polar bears or the puppies, or whatever it is for you. 

So try to make a point to let go of what doesn’t fit.  Don’t wear judgments about yourself that don’t fit who you are today.  May all beings everywhere be happy and free.  This includes you.  And me.

I bought the bigger jeans.  They fit who I am today.  I will try to be content with that!

One of my favorite yoga teachers (and as I said in a previous blog they are ALL my favorites, so no names!) has been talking for weeks about one of Patanjali’s yoga sutras, Sutra 1.13. This sutra says, “Undisturbed calmness of mind is attained by cultivating friendliness toward the happy, compassion for the unhappy, delight in the virtuous, and indifference toward the wicked.” Swami Satchidananda referred to these as the “four locks and four keys.” The locks are our daily challenges, and the keys are applied to help the mind retain the undisturbed calmness, which is the ultimate goal of our yoga practice. Each key certainly merits its own discussion, but it is the “indifference toward the wicked” that has really stuck with me the past few weeks. What does that mean? And how can that even be right? What about fighting back? Defending your position? Tap.

Wicked is defined as: evil by nature and in practice, severe and distressing, or highly offensive; obnoxious. Why would we want to be indifferent to that? Shouldn’t that kind of behavior be dealt with and punished? At the very least, noticed? Why would Patanjali want us to treat that type of behavior with indifference?

For several weeks we talked about that in class. Tap. The topic showed up a month or so ago in a yoga magazine I was reading. Tap. And then in a yoga book on my nightstand. Tap. And then I read it in my Bible, too. Yep. Jesus said, in Matthew, “offer the wicked man no resistance.” No resistance, really? I was starting to think, why does this keep coming up for me? Am I missing something? Shove.

I have this new, unpleasant relationship with someone that I desperately need something from, and he keeps saying no. Without explanation or discussion, or even options, just no. Denied. I am so frustrated I can’t stand it. The “yes” would take none of his time, energy, or resources. It is just a “yes” and a signature. I was sharing the latest in the saga of denial with the aforementioned yoga teacher, and there she goes again with the “indifference to the wicked” bit. Stop already! I don’t WANT to show indifference! I want to slash his tires! To which she says, “But that won’t change him.” There’s the brick.

So as I rub my wounded head, I get it. Finally. It is not that the wickedness is OK. It is not OK, and we may truly be harmed by the wicked words or deeds of others. Indifference doesn’t mean condoning the behavior, or letting someone mow over you. And there still can and should be consequences in response to the wickedness of others. But the indifference should be in our emotional response to the wickedness. Because while the name calling or tire slashing or however we revengefully respond will NOT change them, it DOES change us. And not in a good way. The anger, fear, and resentment set up camp in our body and minds and change our very nature. Why let someone else do that to you? Why do that to yourself?

Let’s back all the way up to Patanjali’s Sutra 1.3: when we practice yoga, “Then the Self abides in its own nature.” This means that our true identity, the very nature of who we are, doesn’t come and go, like an unexpected visitor. When we abide in our true nature, it takes up permanent residence in our lives. The point here is that with a perfectly still and clear mind, we experience ourselves as the blissful beings that we surely are! This sounds complicated, but deep down, I think we all understand this. To again quote Jesus, he said, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” (Matthew 5:8). This is the same principle. When our hearts are pure, and we are in our true blissful nature, we can see God.

OK, so what does that have to do with the wicked? A lot, really. Our hearts cannot possibly be pure when they are full of anger, right? The anger destroys our peace of mind. Worse, every act of anger makes it more likely that we will continue to respond in anger. It is like creating a habit, and not a good one. Repeated habits form our character, and begin to define who we are. So at its worst, the anger or vengeful act will always hurt us more than the perpetrator. Certainly we don’t aspire for our true nature to be angry and bitter!

So what lesson did I learn here from the brick? It is this. We don’t need and shouldn’t use anger to motivate us to do what is right, even in the face of an evil act from another. We need to act from higher motives, such as compassion, a desire for harmony, and a clear knowledge of what is right. When our minds are clear and our hearts are pure, we can more effectively come up with creative solutions. When our minds and hearts are clear, we can abide in our true nature, and our true nature is bliss, not anger.

So how do we get there? We have to find the path that resonates best with us. Maybe we get to that blissful, clear headed state on our yoga mat, in our mediation, or in prayer. Maybe we sing, or enjoy a cup of tea for a few quiet moments each day. Ultimately, we need to understand that words spoken or actions taken in anger towards another only serve to change our very nature, and not their behavior. Indifference towards the wicked is one of the keys to calming the mind, and abiding in our true nature.

And by the way, when I dug down deep for a touch of indifference, with a bit of compassion, and a smile, I got to the elusive “yes.” Maybe I learned something.

I was in class today with one of my favorite instructors (they are all my favorites, so no names here!) and she made a comment that really got me to think about what I was doing on my mat.  She said, “When you are in each pose, I want you to really focus on being All In.”  What??  She reminded us that being “All In” didn’t mean grunting and forcing in the pose, but being fully present on the mat, and staying in the present moment. 

I have been thinking about that all day.  When I got home, I looked it up.  Gotta love Google, right?  “All In” is actually a poker term.  It means wagering your entire stake.  Putting all your chips on the table.  When you are all in, you have bet it all, and have nothing left to give.  You are not hedging your bets, or hiding some chips under the table, or playing it safe.  All In.  Give it all you’ve got. 

So what does that have to do with yoga?  Well, a lot, really.  I know you have heard the clichés, (I say them myself sometimes), that “showing up is half the battle,” or “the hardest part of your yoga practice is just getting on your mat.” These are true, to a point.  But that kind of thinking gives us an out to not give it our all on the mat. 

You see, there are amazing, transformative powers in yoga.  A regular yoga practice can lead to a stronger, healthier body, and a calmer mind.  And if you stick with it long enough, you can even achieve that blissful state where you can really feel the connection with something greater than yourself.  But none of that happens if all you do is show up.  It is not magic.  It is work, and you have to do the work.  Even if it is hard. No one ever said yoga was easy. 

We experience this all the time.  We are on our mats, working towards our yoga bliss, and someone comes in late, or their phone rings.  Or they make a bunch of racket setting up their mat.  We have to work through that, mentally stay on our mats, and not let it derail our practice.  A more likely scenario is that we derail our own practice, when we stop to get a sip of water when we have been balancing on one leg for too long, or we bolt for the bathroom on the 10^th round of plank pose.  Why do we do this?  Because we are not All In.  It is work to be All In, and it makes us very uncomfortable.  What might happen if we put all our chips on the table and give it all we have got?  Hmmm, maybe, just maybe, we would achieve the stronger healthier, body, or the calmer mind, or even that elusive state of bliss.  All those things we hoped we would get by just showing up.  But you can’t just show up. You have to be All In.

I can hear the chatter now.  But, Kristin, you ALWAYS tell us to listen to our bodies, don’t work past your edge, be kind to yourself, don’t try too hard, don’t grip your feet, hands, face, etc.  You’re right, I do.  I also tell you to stay present on your mat.  You can be All In and still do all of those things.  Being All In isn’t that place where you are working at 110% and gripping the mat with all your might, turning your fingers white.  But it also isn’t that place where you leave your mat, either physically or mentally, because it is tough, and you want to take a break.  It is staying on your mat, finding your breath, doing the work, and allowing yourself to fully experience whatever it is that the practice is bringing up in you that day, even if it makes your profoundly uncomfortable.  Then you are All In.  That is where the transformation happens.  What a beautiful, freeing place to be!  See you there.